08/11/2024

James Cave

So, I went to James cave yesterday. It sure was a time. I learned how to rappel on a handlind and I got to see a bat hibernaculum for the first time. It was really gross to be honest. James cave had beautiful formations, multiple rooms of helictites and some of the weirdest limestone I've ever seen. It's the last time I'm getting to go caving for a while with the school year coming up, so I savored every moment. Caving is such a lovely experience. I feel at peace when I'm caving. Nothing exists in the cave except what my light can see.

I'm working towards bottom surgery and have to get a second job to save money for it and the move. Also, the money my job is putting towards my tuition is now being taxed even though I don't see any of it. I know the last update was pretty dark but I've now got a second 🌈therapist🌈. She wants to see me twice a month, which is uh . . . I didn't think things were that bad, but I'm going to work on myself. I'm going to get a good grade in therapy which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

I got a job at Jimmy Johns that I'll be working while still doing my full time job and going to grad school. It's going to suck but I only need to do it for nine months. My thesis proposal is also coming along nicely. If I just keep working at it, I'm sure that I'll be where I need to be in no time. Moving out got pushed back to January, which is honestly ok. I found out I have an avoidant dissmive attachment style and it's the source of a lot of strain in my relationships, so I want to spend some time on that before everyone moves in together anyways.