06/30/2026

Beetles and Muses

I saw this beetle yesterday while I was at work! He was chilling in front of the doors to the lab. I took some pictures of him and then moved him off into some foliage so he wouldn't get squished. My entomology friend says it's a male reddish-brown stag beetle, Lucanus capreolus.

I've been hard at work in the writing mines. The VHS story I've been working on shipped out this morning and I got feedback on another story that is helpful but I'm not certain how to fix it. In the meantime, I've got a baking horror call coming up as well as a novella I'm working on. I love Aralise so much but the more I think about it in my head, the more I realize it's probably going to be a 160k word book and first novels generally have to be 80 to 100k for publishers to consider them. I'm looking through alternatives now but it's a pain in the butt.

My partner has been going through it because most of the people in her department are out. I really wish I could fix that, do something about it, but I can't. She's really suffering and there's nothing I can do. There are a lot of people suffering in my community. I'm trying to build networks of mutual aid so that people get what they need but so much is out of my control. I have hope though. I believe wherever there is injustice, there are people fighting it. I just want to be able to look at my kids and tell them I fought like hell to make this place better for them. I think a lot of what is happening is meant to extinguish that light of hope within us.

We were at a Unitarian Universalist sermon (that is the organization I'm bringing other trans people to) and it made me realize I need to surrender myself to Apollon, Dionysos, and the Muses. I feel the purpose of my art is challenge the status quo and speak truth to power. If queer art and lit wasn't important, they wouldn't ban it. I'm not a soldier. I don't know how to fight. This is my weapon to fight this darkness in our country. I'm not certain how I'm going to go about this just yet but I feel Melpomene is the muse who watches me as a writer and I'll let her guide things.

Also, check out Videodrome and They Live, great movies.